Peg Leg Peggy Polly

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I got a girl, her name is Peg
She looks kind of pretty but she's got a wooden leg
She's got a leg shaped like the leg of a chair
But when it comes to dancing, no one can compare

Peg Leg Peggy she really knows how to hop
She really knows how to hop
She really knows how to hop
When it comes to dancing she's the queen
She sounds just like a sewing machine
Peg Leg Peggy she really knows how to hop
She really knows how to hop
She really knows how to hop
(J. Entwistle, Peg Leg Peggy)

Okay, inquiring minds want to know one thing: who rides on who's shoulder? The Telegraph reports that a parrot is about to be fitted with a wooden leg.  

A one-legged parrot that keeps slipping off his perch is to be fitted with a 'wooden leg'.

George, a ten-year-old African Grey, lost a claw after being attacked by a wild animal which broke into his cage a year and a half ago.

The missing limb means whenever George tries to sleep, he slips off his perch, squawking "Bloody Hell!" in surprise.

Concerned for her pet, the bird's owner Sheila Weare sought advice from experts at the University of Salford.

Mrs Weare, from Crewe told the BBC: “You can tell by the way he fidgets that he's not comfortable and he has to bite the bars of his cage at night to balance."

In the hope of giving bird and owner a good night's sleep, the perch will be fitted with a specially-moulded slot, into which George will be trained to insert his stump at night. 

The real problem will come when the pirate tries to balance on the parrot's shoulder. Polly will want a truss after that. There is actually one element of this story that disturbs me greatly: Dr Glyn Heath, who is the person making the parrot's new leg has also constructed "a 'wheelchair' for a paraplegic rat," according to the report. 

Now I'm going to have nightmares about rodents on skateboards.

(Side note: If you have never heard John Entwistle's Rigor Mortis Sets In album (where Peg Leg Peggy appears), you have missed some of the greatest lead bass ever played.)


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One Response to Peg Leg Peggy Polly

  1. Sam Wah says:

    Gaius,     This and the "Are Women Human" posts are purt near the funniest things you’ve ever posted.  You’re on a roll (Kaiser, perhaps; definitely not sourdough–it’s sweet and tangy).

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