Two Modest Suggestions

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Apparently, some of the less hinged protesters who are already planning their disruption of the Democratic National Convention are terribly afraid of a completely nonexistent weapon being used against them. Actually, they are afraid of two weapons. No, not the Nikon dragonfly. It is much messier than that…..

Political activists planning protest rallies at the upcoming Democratic Convention in Denver have their stomachs in knots over a rumor about a crowd control weapon – known as the “crap cannon” – that might be unleashed against them.

Also called “Brown Note,” it is believed to be an infrasound frequency that debilitates a person by making them defecate involuntarily.

Mark Cohen, co-founder of Re-create 68, an alliance of local activists working for the protection of first amendment rights, said he believes this could be deployed at the convention in August to subdue crowds.

“We know this weapon and weapons like it have been used at other large protests before,” he said.

Cohen, who described Brown Note as a “sonic weapon used to disrupt people’s equilibrium,” cited eyewitness accounts of its use during free-trade agreement protests in Miami in 2003.

“I think these weapons were mostly intended for military use and so their use for dealing with innocent protesters seems highly inappropriate,” he said. “The idea that they might be field testing them on people who are doing nothing more than exercising their first amendment rights is disturbing.”

As the article points out, there is no evidence – whatsoever – that such a thing exists. Mythbusters debunked it. Snopes has not at this point as far as I can tell. But hey, it's early yet.

Oh, as to the suggestions mentioned in the title to this post: Brown trousers or a cork. Have fun, kiddies.

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14 Responses to Two Modest Suggestions

  1. Bill says:

    Those activist have been watching too much of South Park.South Park had a Brown Note episode.

  2. MikeM says:

    What a load of crap.

  3. Bleepless says:

    The brown note is just a sinister Establishment lie to conceal the real weapons that will be deployed against the forces of liberation:  the smeg-a-tat-tat, the toe jam mines, the dandruff breeder and the armpit flooder.  Don’t tell anybody.

  4. Mwalimu Daudi says:

    Someone on Don Surber’s blog suggested that the protestors wear tinfoil underwear to combat this evil menace to civil liberties. 
    (No – it was not me, although I would dearly love to take credit for that bit of priceless snark.)

  5. Less Than Lethal weaponry has an interesting history at DARPA.  Much of the first work was done in seminar where futurists and SF writers such as Janet Morris and others gamed what would be the most effective NLW systems.  After the concept was complete it was then sent out to be developed.  If "Brown Note" has these people quivering you can be sure some bright light at DARPA is writing thed development specs right now.If you can find the Spring 1995 edition of _Air Power_ Morris and her husband describe the process and goals.  It’s very interesting.OTOH, Morris is the first author I knew of who carried at Conventions………

  6. Andrew X says:

    The statement made that: “We know this weapon and weapons like it have been used at other large protests before” is one of the most stunningly illuminative statements I have ever seen. "We KNOW……. THIS weapon (and others)…. HAVE  been used".
    For our friend Mark Cohen, their simply is NO difference between a statement that is true and one that is not. None. Statements are diffrentiated by whether or not they serve the narrative. Simple as that. And while many out there might think similarly, a good many of them realize that an utterly STUPID statement like, "People are already sh%##&g their pants involuntarily at our demonstrations" in fact does not "serve the narrative", because it is so patently false and ridiculous that it makes the speaker out to be the stone fool that he is.
    Yet he says it anyway.  He is capable of stringing a sentence together, so he can’t be stupid enough to unknowingly say that.
    Is he on our side, perhaps?  (Re-creating the ’68 that allowed Richard Nixon of all people to stomp the Democratic candidate?)

  7. Neo says:

    There was a piece on CBS’s Sunday morning show about a weapons system that heats up your body and I’ve seen others that make you sick to your stomach, but never a "crap canon", which sounds like a South Park myth.

  8. Vmaximus says:

    That reminds me of a joke told to me by my Italian boss.

    A Italian General was getting ready for battle, he tells his Sargent (use your best Italian accent) Sargent! get me my red vest! The Sargent hands the vest to the general and says “general why are you wearing your red vest” The General replies “so my troops won’t see me bleed”

    The Sargent leaves the General and begins to prepare for battle, he asks his Corporal……

    “Corporal get me my brown pants”

  9. Maggie says:

    Gaius –
    I am disappointed, I tell you! Disappointed!!
    A mention and a link to the ‘signature’ BCB Nikon Dragonfly … but no actual picture?!?
    Barbaric … Barbaric!
    BTW … Sister blogger here … Pat Dollard snagged me in a couple months ago.
    Oh, the insanity!

  10. I guess I’m still in spam hell.

  11. N. O'Brain says:

    Um, so they use the "crap cannon".
    How could you tell?

  12. Steve Burri says:

    When I first heard of the ‘crap cannon’ I immediately thought of a manure spreader like we used down on the farm.  A modified version of that highly technological equipment such as a ‘crap dusting plane’ and pilot would be useful. And it would also create jobs for the ‘Elephant Clean Up’ Union guys and gals after the protest.

  13. old_dawg says:

    We, in the Imperial weapons development business, regret the misunderstanding. We are workingon a weapon that will blow the crap out of large crowds, but not in this manner. :) 

  14. RebeccaH says:

    Actually, a crap cannon isn’t a bad idea. What would they prefer? Batons and bullets?

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