Obama Denounces D-Day Landings

From a nearby slightly altered universe:

In a speech today presidential candidate Barack Obama maintained his steadfast disapproval of the D-Day landings of June 6th, 1944, despite the historical evidence of it as a smashing Allied victory over Nazi Germany.

"Even knowing what we know today, I would never commit to Operation Overlord," the Senator explained to a diverse cross section of New York Times reporters and members of NARAL's executive committee. "It should have been obvious from the debacles at Kasserine Pass and the Anzio landings, not to mention the unending quagmire of the Italian campaign as a whole, that simply putting more troops into the European theater was never going to bring the violence to an end."

When asked what his alternative approach would have entailed, Obama responded, "I would have brought the troops home via a 16 month timetable." This was greeted with wild applause. "Peace in our time!" yelled more than one.

At that point an unidentified man in the back of the room pointed out, historically speaking, the entire European war didn't even last a further 12 months after the successful D-Day landings. Obama waived this away by proclaiming the need for, "change! We cannot be bound to the history of dead facts!" Many of the crowd moved towards the unidentified questioner for "further clarification" of his point.

After a short delay for the removal of the corpse, Obama brought the throng to its feet one last time. "This is the reason I have been chosen! This is the reason I am running unopposed for the White House! Because, I would rather lose than admit to being wrong. Facts be damned."

Several NARAL supporters received medical treatment after swooning

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9 Responses to Obama Denounces D-Day Landings

  1. martian says:

    Love the story, Rich. It does have some eerie parallels, doesn’t it?

  2. Steve Burri says:

    Subtitled, ‘Horton Hears a Foo’.'The victory in Europe was due mainly to  political advances as well as various French and German sects turning against al Hitler. (Who wasn’t in Europe in the first place.) The Allied blood, bombs, and bullets played only a minor role.Neville Chamberlain was correct after all. There was peace in our time. Too bad he didn’t get to see it and revel in his great foresight as he died in 1940.

  3. Rich Horton says:

    I meant to add that the Belgian and Dutch people, according to Obama, loudly decried the American intervention.  "Stop it!" they protested, "You’re only gonna make the Germans mad!"

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  7. Ishmale says:

    The comparison might have worked, had we still been in Europe 5 years after the initial invasion.

  8. Gaius says:

    Er, Ishy old man, we are still in Europe more than 60 years after the initial invasion.

  9. Mwalimu Daudi says:

    With apologies to Rich: Let me try my hand at this.

    In a speech today presidential candidate Barack Obama maintained his steadfast disapproval of the D-Day landings of June 6th, 1944.
     

    "Even knowing what we know today, I would never commit to Operation Overlord," the Senator explained to a gathering of respected journalists. "It should have been obvious from the debacles at Kasserine Pass and the Anzio landings, not to mention the unending quagmire of the Italian campaign as a whole, that simply putting more troops into the European theater was never going to bring the violence to an end."

     
    Senator Obama pointed out that no WMDs have ever been located anywhere in the civil war-torn continent. "And what does the current Administration hold up as evidence to justify their dangerous, ill-conceived rush to war? A handful of unreliable V-2 missiles that are just as likely to fall on German cities as their intended targets. Does the capture of a few rusty rockets that threatened no one worth the price of 50,00 American lives?"

     
    Senator Obama went on to say, "This was a European civil war, and our unwanted invasion only made things worse.  As a result of this disaster, which is unparalled in American history, we have strengthened enemies and lost the respected of trusted friends like Vichy France."
     

    "America was once a beacon of hope and change," the Democratic presidential hopeful added. "But because we illegally invaded countries that had nothing to do with 12/7 we have dramatically weakened the United States. We are now at greater risk of attack than we were before Pearl Harbor."
     

    When questioned about reports of a "Holocaust" that allegedly occurred in Europe under the Hitler government, Obama echoed the sentiments of a majority of experts who are skeptical that such an event could have ever taken place. "Why should we believe anything that the Roosevelt Administration tells us anymore?" he said. "The only ‘Holocaust’ that we know actually happened is the one where millions of Europeans died because of an illegal invasion launched by Roosevelt himself. The stain of the blood of all of those millions of dead will never leave our hands. Europeans would be far better off today if we had learned the lessons of history the first time around." 

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