Blue Crab Boulevard

Brother

My brother turned 51 this year. While that isn’t a very noteworthy accomplishment in this day and age for most people, for him, it was a milestone for him. You see, not many years ago, someone like my brother did not have anything like the life expectancy of an “average American”.

My brother has Down (or Down’s or Downs) syndrome. In addition to the very visible characteristics of what was once called Mongolism, there are other invisible problems, health-wise. Most born with this had short life-expectancies, not so very long ago. That extra chromosome wreaks havoc with the body.

In a cognitive sense, my brother is about eight years old - and always will be. But he is sweet, affectionate, artistic and quite the ladies man. He will tell, with complete sincerity, any woman he meets that she is gorgeous. This is not a hollow compliment, he means everything he says; there is not one dishonest bone in his body. And he can draw some stunning pictures.

My children, all four of them, absolutely adore my brother. When they were growing up, he was right there with them in a cognitive sense. When they grew older - and he did not - they loved him all the more.

Is there a point to this post, you ask? Only this: If you think this world is a better place without my brother in it, you’re mistaken.

Badly.

Personal Thoughts | Gaius Monday, 1 September , 2008

By barking toad, Monday, 1 September , 2008 @ 6:55 pm

A thoughtful and interesting post.

My wife has a cousin who has also defied the odds and at an age a bit more then 51. I’ve always put it down to being brought up as just part of a loving family.
By lee, Monday, 1 September , 2008 @ 8:27 pm

that is very good news–and very reassuring. my wife and I just had a little girl, kayliegh ann, who has downs. we’re learning, but not sure what the distant future holds.
By Bleepless, Monday, 1 September , 2008 @ 9:04 pm

Well said.
By K T Cat, Monday, 1 September , 2008 @ 9:32 pm

What a great story. Both my daughter and I are people who would have been good candidates for abortions. I don’t know about anyone else, but I can tell you, my world is certainly better for having me in it.
By Foxfier, Monday, 1 September , 2008 @ 10:16 pm

God bless him– I know heart problems are a big problem; my mom’s side has a LOT of heart issues, and that can be really scarry.
By tkelso, Monday, 1 September , 2008 @ 10:25 pm

A very happy birthday to your brother, Gaius. You choked me up.

My wife is an adoptee and we just had our 1st child (after a lot of trying). I wish I could thank her biological mother for going through with her pregnancy. My sister also gave up a child for adoption; somewhere there’s a boy about to start school tomorrow because my sister decided not to abort him.
By syn, Tuesday, 2 September , 2008 @ 6:15 am

I will never be able to have children and have accepted this fate, yet I see those who do give life as blessed beyond any material wealth. The world would not be better place if not for those who were born to show us just how precious and beautiful this life can be.

Happy belated birthday to your brother Gaius!
By jpg, Tuesday, 2 September , 2008 @ 9:05 am

I like your brother. Thanks for posting this. JPG
By Quilly Mammoth, Tuesday, 2 September , 2008 @ 9:58 am

Very well written, Gaius. It’s important to remember that in the end it’s about loving the people God blesses us with. He rewards us in turn with love reciprocated. Without that understanding life is surely an unpleasant place to live.
By tabitharuth, Tuesday, 2 September , 2008 @ 1:58 pm

Well, Happy Birthday to your brother!
By Quilly Mammoth, Tuesday, 2 September , 2008 @ 2:47 pm

Gaius, I took the liberty of sending your post to some Pastors and DCE and lay workers in my District as we look at the latest issue of Lutherans for Life and address how we speak to that topic for the upcoming election. Without, of course endorsing a specific candidate. Responses are great. I tried to email you this but the address I have for you bounced back.
By Angel, Tuesday, 2 September , 2008 @ 2:56 pm

what a stunning post!..I worked with Downs syndrome kids for years..best hugs I ever got!
Happy birthday dude!:)
By Sylvia, Tuesday, 2 September , 2008 @ 7:36 pm

What a blessing to have a brother with such a positive attitude. Wish him happy birthday from me.

I had a false positive amnio for Downs with my daughter. Of course I kept her and was as prepared as I could be when she was born and we realized the lab had made an error. She’s had her own set of problems and virtues, as each of us does. Sure am glad I had the CHOICE to KEEP her and there wasn’t a eugenic mandate that would have required me to lose her based on the lab’s poor work…!
By Gaius, Tuesday, 2 September , 2008 @ 7:56 pm

Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I have no idea why the email bounced, QM.
By Maggie, Wednesday, 3 September , 2008 @ 11:05 pm

Gaius -

I KNEW we had a ‘connection’ …

I have an 8 yr old beautiful daughter with Down Syndrome … and I wouldn’t change a thing about her. (Well there IS that Barbie thing every time we go to the store …)

What? Me? Second guess God’s perfection???
By skeneogden, Thursday, 4 September , 2008 @ 12:27 pm

God bless your brother and thanks for an uplifting post.