Professional Wrestling With Swords

The archaeologist in charge of Rome’s Colosseum has decided that it is time to bring back the old Roman tradition of gladiatorial games.

Umberto Broccoli, the archaeologist in charge of the Colosseum, said that he is planning to bring the gladiatorial clashes of ancient Rome to the modern Italian capital as part of a “serious project” to revive interest in its monuments and museums.

Whereas the gladiators who entertained ancient Roman crowds in the huge amphitheatre often battled to the death, today’s fighters will engage in mock battles.

While sparing their opponents from injury, those aspiring to follow Russell Crowe’s heroics in the film Gladiator will nonetheless wear authentic helmets and body armour and wield the same swords, tridents, nets and daggers that were used in ancient times.

The idea of re-enacting the contests is being pushed by Mr Broccoli, superintendent of archaeology at Rome City Council.

“I don’t want this to be a carnival. It would be a serious project. Museums and ancient monuments like the Colosseum must speak to the public in a new way,” he told the newspaper La Repubblica.

We can’t wait for the full-blown return should this revival get approved. Wild beasts being killed, the occasional Christian being thrown to lions (that will guarantee a huge audience from the far left and Andrew Sullivan). Why, history will speak in a whole new way! Or in the same, old way. As the case may be.

/sarcasm. What Broccoli is proposing is nothing more than American professional wrestling with swords and armor. Wikipedia says that the real thing wasn’t actually much more than that. The gladiators endorsed products and studiously avoided actually getting hurt out in the arena. (Which actually makes sense when you think about it. There was a substantial investment in training these fighters. Why would you send them out to get killed before you recouped your investment?)