Pheasant Uprising
The pheasants are restless, sire:
As a tale of avian savagery it’s starting to have echoes of Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds.
For months, the rural North Yorkshire village of Newsham has been terrorised by a very unpleasant pheasant – and no one has been spared.
Men, women, children, prams, bikes, dogs and even cars have all fallen victim to the psychopathic fowl, which some believe is out to avenge its dead relatives.
Victims have spoken of how the bird hides silently in bushes before leaping out and advancing on its terrified prey.
It has even chased village children after watching them get off the school bus.
There have been attempts to catch the predator but so far to no avail.
Expert advice for dealing with the foul-tempered fowl? Move it:
Mr Waddell said best way to deal with the bird would be to humanely capture it and relocate it away from the village.
Just think, they could box it up and ship it to another village that they don’t like! That village could box it up and ship it to another and so on.
It would be like a feathered fruitcake that just gets re-gifted.
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By Jimmy don\'t play that, February 4, 2010 @ 8:10 pm
Pheasant. Yum.
By ck, February 4, 2010 @ 9:06 pm
A wild turkey flew into my yard about a month ago. My 20 yr old arctic wolf thought it was a present from heaven.
By gh, February 4, 2010 @ 10:43 pm
Sire! Sire! The pheasants are revolting!
By Sylvia, February 5, 2010 @ 12:41 am
If you don’t have a wolf at hand, most critters will flee from an umbrella held horizontally and opened and closed while you run toward the varmint, channeling your inner pterodactyl.
By J, February 5, 2010 @ 7:50 am
We had an aggressive, wild turkey here in liberal MA. After weeks of dithering about what to do, the authorities waited until school was out and children were around and shot the turkeys….all of them, including the ONE aggressive turkey.
By Tully, February 5, 2010 @ 9:41 pm
Funny, here in the Plains we never have such problems with GAME birds. They flee from humans on sight.
And if they don’t, well, they’re not so much a problem as an opportunity….
By Boy Named Sous, February 6, 2010 @ 12:25 am
And thus the pussification of England is complete.
By Peter, February 6, 2010 @ 12:33 am
It wasn’t very long ago when Brits would be relearning how to chew without the teeth quite meeting to prevent breaking a tooth on birdshot. Sigh.