Prophet Motive

Via Memeorandum, two stories that have a weird juxtaposition. The first one:

Many people in the U.S.—perhaps 20 million to 40 million—believe there will be a Second Coming in their lifetimes, followed by  the Rapture . In this event, they say, the righteous will be spirited away to a better place while the godless remain on Earth. But what will become of all the pets?

Bart Centre, 61, a retired retail executive in New Hampshire, says many people are troubled by this question, and he wants to help. He started a service called Eternal Earth-Bound Pets that promises to rescue and care for animals left behind by the saved.

Promoted on the Web as “the next best thing to pet salvation in a Post Rapture World,” the service has attracted more than 100 clients, who pay $110 for a 10-year contract ($15 for each additional pet.) If the Rapture happens in that time, the pets left behind will have homes—with atheists. Centre has set up a national network of godless humans to carry out the mission. “If you love your pets, I can’t understand how you could not consider this,” he says.

More than 100 clients! Whoo hoo! That is one rapturous business model! Centre’s contempt for his prospective customers positively drips from the article.  Now the second item:

Congestion pricing to reduce car travel. Elimination of curbside parking. A carbon tax “of some kind,” not to mention taxes on plastic and paper bags. Advocating vegetarianism and veganism, complete with “Meatless or Vegan Mondays.” Those are just some of the proposals put forth by the Cambridge Climate Congress, an entity created in May 2009 to respond to the “climate emergency” plaguing the Massachusetts city.

Going green will not be optional in Cambridge, Mass., if the Cambridge Climate Congress has its way. It will be mandatory.

There will be congestion pricing to reduce car travel. Curbside parking will be eliminated. There will be a carbon tax “of some kind,” not to mention taxes on plastic and paper bags. And the Massachusetts city, home of Harvard University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, will advocate vegetarianism and veganism, complete with “Meatless or Vegan Mondays.”

Why is this a weird juxtaposition, you ask? Simple. I can see a huge – and I mean huge – business opportunity in smuggling hamburgers into Cambridge if the Green jackboots plant themselves on the necks of the citizenry!

Think of the prophets – er, profits – involved! You could buy a burger in a less be-greened community, run it across the town line and easily sell it for twice – or more – what you paid for it! Bun running would be very, very big business – I know, I was a college student once upon a time.

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard are ready to start selling bootleg burgers just as soon as the green fascists get their way.

Notice the difference in the business models?

The first “rescues” people that Centre obviously (read the article) thinks are stupidly righteous. The second actually rescues people from the stupidly self-righteous.

Want to bet on which business model works better?

This entry was posted in Appalling. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Prophet Motive

  1. Maggie says:

    See, that ‘green police’ Audi(?) Super Bowl ad doesn’t seem so funny when you read stuff like this, eh?

    Cambridge, Mass. … Isn’t that the home of some ‘racist’ cop that likes to invade the private homes of ‘black’ college professors after being called because neighbors thought the home was being broken into?

    Drink more beer, Cambridge, Mass. Might be a better place if you all were a bit more numb.

Comments are closed.