Fowl Crimes

Or tales of the feathered mafia. First up, the bird who called wolf: New Jersey police kicked the door in when they heard a woman’s voice repeatedly calling out, “Help me!”. Problem is, it wasn’t a woman.

But instead of a damsel in distress, officers found a caged cockatoo with a convincing call.

Next, the avian thugs trying to take over New Zealand:

WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A gang of unruly teenage bush parrots have wrought havoc at a bird sanctuary in New Zealand by using their powerful beaks to destroy nesting boxes.

The native Kaka parrots — juvenile birds that haven’t reached sexual maturity — have torn off nesting box doors and vandalized the bird homes, sanctuary conservation officer Matt Robertson said Friday.

And finally, arsonist birds threaten North Dakota college:

WAHPETON, N.D. – A bird’s nest in a chimney is believed to have caused a fire that damaged the roof of Schuett Hall at the North Dakota State College of Science here Wednesday night, a spokeswoman said.

Obviously, we have a bird crime spree brewing.

Head Over Eels

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard have long been the go-to source for cutting edge news about eels. Well, OK, we published one post about dead eels two years ago - to the day. But two years after the demise of "Conger Cuddling" in merry old England, a new use has been found for dead eels!

A Japanese firm is turning eels into a soft drink.

The beverage, which translates as "Surging Eel", is a vivid yellow liquid and contains eel extract and vitamins found in the fish.

It has been launched this month to coincide with the start of Japan's annual eel-eating season, which peaks this year on 5 August.

Many believe the fish boost energy during the summer's hot and humid conditions.

Kazunori Hayashi, spokesman for the company Japan Tobacco Inc, which produced the drink, said : "It is mainly for men who are exhausted by the summer's heat".

Of course, we'd be remiss if we didn't point out that Japan Tobacco, Inc. missed a huge opportunity. Had they made the drink with electric eels, they could have had all those vitamins plus 50,000 volts of electricity! Talk about a surging eel!

Sleeping Spa-ing Wid Da Fishes

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard have been reporting for quite some time on modern breakthroughs in spa treatments and, of course, especially on spa treatments involving animals. (Which cost us a perfectly good informant - we sacrifice for our readers, we do.) In keeping with our tradition of groundbreaking news you can’t lose (even if you want to) here’s today’s animal spa adventure! The flesh-eating fish pedicure!

The toothless fish, termed garra rufa but known as “doctor fish”, nibble away at dead skin while leaving healthy flesh untouched, providing what advocates say is a natural alternative to potentially unsanitary razors, clippers or pumice stones.

John Ho, who owns the salon with wife Yvonne, said he was initially sceptical about offering the technique, which is popular in spas in Turkey, where the fish come from, as well as parts of Japan, China, Singapore and Malaysia.

”I know people were a little intimidated at first,” he told the Associated Press. “But I just said, ‘Let’s give it a shot.’ “

But customers flocked to try the treatment and as word spread the salon’s Dr Fish Massage was featured on local radio and Tyra Banks’ television talk show. 

We certainly wish the proprietors all the best. We would caution our readers not to try this at home, especially since we predict that some unscrupulous vendors will now be trying to sell piranha as “(You’re gonna need a) Doctor Fish.”

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard have been experimenting with our own version of this latest, high-tech beautification technique. We have had limited success with our “lobster pedicure”, however. Although most of the test subjects are now walking again.

‘Roo Rampage

A 65-year old Australian woman was hospitalized after being savagely attacked by a killer kangaroo. Fortunately, the family dog intervened and drove the marauding marsupial off.

But then, a large male kangaroo inches taller than the 5’6 foot Mrs Neal, suddenly lunged at her.

“The kangaroo has just jumped up and launched straight at her,” he told local newspapers. “He hit her once and she just dropped and rolled. My dog heard her screaming and bolted down and chased him off.

“If it wasn’t for the dog she’d probably be dead.”

Mrs Neal was discharged from hospital, but her son said she was in “a bad way”.

“Her face has been ripped apart, her hand has been mauled, and she’s got scratches all over her back and concussion,” he said. “Her whole body is sore where she has dropped to the ground.”

Up until now, kangaroos have pretty much been concentrating on trying to kill Irish actors. It is a pretty sordid turn of events when they start mugging pensioners. If you read the article, you'll be informed that the family's home has a serious 'roo infestation. They basically can't take a step in any direction without tripping over a kangaroo.

Party Animal

A British businessman who installed a swimming pool for his family got a bit of a surprise when the first swimmer turned out to be an escaped bull.

The dramatic pool-party took place on Friday. Work had just been completed on the luxury outdoor heated swimming pool Mr Stewart had ordered for his home.

Workmen had spent the day pumping in ten thousand gallons of water and Mr Stewart's guests started to arrive in the late afternoon for the inaugural swim.

However celebrations took a surprise turn when a two-year-old bull from a neighbouring farm jumped a fence and escaped from his pasture.

The young animal, whose full show-name is Broombrae Tramp, was apparently intent on making closer acquaintance with a herd of cows in another field.

But when his owner, farmer Alexander Jack, gave chase, the bull changed course and instead crashed into Mr Stewart's garden.

The bull then executed a bovine version of a swan dive directly into Mr. Stewart's pool. You realize that the bull was attempting to impress the women attending the pool party, don't you? Talk about beefcake.

Visitors

While we were in Canada, we returned to our hotel room one evening to find a family of raccoons waiting outside our door. This is in the middle of Niagara Falls right on Clifton Hill, mind you. I think they're stalking me.

How Many Orangutans Per Mile?

I have written several posts about the plight of the orangutans. A new study shows just how badly off the great apes are because of the mad rush to produce "biofuels".

New orangutan population estimates revealed in the July issue of Oryx reflect those improvements in assessment methodology – including standardized data collection, island-wide surveys, and better sharing of data among stakeholders – rather than dramatic changes in the number of surviving orangutans.

The experts’ revised estimates put the number of Sumatran orangutans (P. abelii) around 6,600 in 2004. This is lower than previous estimates of 7,501 as a result of new findings that indicate that a large area in Aceh that was previously thought to contain orangutans actually does not. Since forest loss in Aceh has been relatively low from 2004 to 2008, the 2004 estimate is probably not much higher than the actual number in 2008. The 2004 estimate of about 54,000 Bornean orangutans (P. pygmaeus) is probably also higher than the actual number today as there has been a 10 percent orangutan habitat loss in the Indonesian part of Borneo during that period……

…….Although other threats to orangutan survival exist, such as hunting in agricultural areas where human-orangutan conflicts exist, the biggest by far is forest destruction associated with the burgeoning palm oil industry in Indonesia and Malaysia. Together, they are the world’s largest palm oil producers with a combined global market share of 80.5 percent. Rapid expansion of the palm oil industry coupled with poor land-use planning are further pressuring forests and the orangutans who depend on them for survival.

The madness of biofuels. The truth is that biofuels produce more carbon emissions, not less.

Gators Gone Wild

The reptile legions are on the march. Four new species of alligator have been discovered in the past few days. There's the Chicago River alligator:

A father-son alligator wrangler team dragged a 5-foot, 45-pound live alligator from the Chicago River's most notorious stretch, Bubbly Creek, on Friday.

The 'gator, christened "White Sox'' by Ald. James Balcer (11th), had a better day than Balcer's team.

"He's in a box, so he's happy now," said Dan, the younger of the wranglers who was working on behalf of the Chicago Herpetological Society. He and his father, Bob, asked that their last names not be used.

Then there's the New York pool gator:

LAGRANGE, N.Y. - A Dutchess County family getting their pool ready for summer found a 4-foot alligator lounging atop the cover.

State Trooper Jason Kelley arrived at the house at 2960 State Route 82 on Thursday and called in Sgt. Gerry Salmon, who state police said is a herpetologist.

Salmon captured the reptile and it was taken into custody by the state Department of Environmental Conservation officers R. Hodor and D. Read.

The question is, how high is the gator's bail? Next, there's the Tennessee drain pipe alligator:

Putnam County Officer Chris Brown said when children in the neighborhood first heard a growling noise coming from the drain, they thought it was a dog. But when officials arrived on the scene, they discovered an alligator at least 2 feet long.

Alligators disguised as drain pipes. This is not good, people. And finally, there is the Augusta golf gator:

AUGUSTA, Ga.—It's something you'd expect to see in Florida…but this afternoon, an alligator drew quite a crowd to the Canal section of Walton Way. It was somewhere from six to eight feet long.

You have to line up early to get tickets to the Master's.

Here Comes The Sun Swan

It would appear that a family of swans in Britain are big Beatle fans. They've recreated their very own version of a Beatles album cover.

Formula One Beaver?

The Daily Mail reports on the latest contribution Canada has made to the world of sports: Formula One racing beavers!

A brave beaver was pictured as it tried to race alongside Lewis Hamilton’s car - but it proved to be a bad omen for the driver who later crashed out of the Canadian Grand Prix.

The fearless creature was photographed scampering alongside Hamilton’s car as he got in some practice for yesterday’s big race.

As Hamilton sped round the track the chubby rodent hurtled as fast as it could down the tarmac.

Although I am not sure about the first picture, the second one appears to be showing a woodchuck, not a beaver. Either way, this is a great day for auto racing. (Insert gratuitous beaver joke of your choice here.)

Land Shark

The Telegraph has a picture of a crocodile eating a shark. No really.

It is being heralded as the clash of the titans – the moment when a crocodile and a shark went head to head in the wilds of Australia, and the shark came off second best.

The nine foot long saltwater croc attacked the shark in a river and then hauled it onto the bank in order make a meal of it.

An amateur fisherman captured the extraordinary clash between Australia's two most feared predators while on a barramundi fishing trip in the Northern Territory.

Frankly, if that's a nine foot croc, it's a pretty small shark. But the odd thing is that the croc essentially reversed normal behavior to get its jaws around Jaws, so to speak. It dragged the shark out of the water, not into the water.

The really interesting thing about the article, however, is the fact that there are now an estimated 85,000 of these reptilian predators in Australia, up from some 5,000 in the 1970s. The sharks should be afraid.

Tired And Shagged Out After A Prolonged Squawk

More about Norwegian Blue Parrots of Monty Python fame…turn out there actual used to be some: Norwegian Blue parrot really DID exist - but now they are all 'stiff, bereft of life and ex-parrots'

Dr David Waterhouse, a fossil expert and Python fan, has found that parrots not only lived in Scandinavia 55million years ago, but probably evolved there before spreading into the southern hemisphere.

His discovery was based on a preserved wing bone of a previously unknown species, given the scientific name Mopsitta Tanta - and now nicknamed the Norwegian Blue.

…

Dr Waterhouse, 29, said of Mopsitta Tanta: "Obviously, we were dealing with a bird that is bereft of life, but the tricky bit was establishing it was a parrot."

He was studying for a PhD at the University of Dublin in 2005 when he visited a museum in Jutland and spotted a fossilised 2in-long humerus - appropriately enough, the funny bone - among bird remains which had been found near an open-cast mine.

Research has now confirmed the bone was part of an upper wing from a bird in the parrot family. Although the mine was in Denmark, the birds would also have lived in what is now Norway.

Dr Waterhouse, now assistant curator of natural history at the Norfolk Museums Service, said: "All that remained was a single upper wing bone, but it contained characteristic features that showed it was clearly from a member of the parrot family, about the size of a yellow-crested cockatoo.

"It isn't as unbelievable as you might think that a parrot was found so far north.

"When Mopsitta was alive, most of northern Europe was experiencing a warm period, with a large shallow tropical lagoon covering much of Germany, South-East England and Denmark.

I've got further dialogue going through my head:

"A parrot? In Scandinavia?"

"Well, it probably escaped from a zoo."

"Isn't very likely…."

(As I clearly stated in an earlier post…I'm a bit of a dork.)

Computer Bugs On The March In Houston

Not the usual software glitches, either. We're talking about the real deal - the things that computer "bugs" were named for - real bugs. In this case ants - and lots of them.

DALLAS - In what sounds like a really low-budget horror film, voracious swarming ants that apparently arrived in Texas aboard a cargo ship are invading homes and yards across the Houston area, shorting out electrical boxes and messing up computers.

 The hairy, reddish-brown creatures are known as "crazy rasberry ants" — crazy, because they wander erratically instead of marching in regimented lines, and "rasberry" after Tom Rasberry, an exterminator who did battle against them early on.

"They're itty-bitty things about the size of fleas, and they're just running everywhere," said Patsy Morphew of Pearland, who is constantly sweeping them off her patio and scooping them out of her pool by the cupful. "There's just thousands and thousands of them. If you've seen a car racing, that's how they are. They're going fast, fast, fast. They're crazy."

The ants — formally known as "paratrenicha species near pubens" — have spread to five Houston-area counties since they were first spotted in Texas in 2002.

The newly recognized species is believed to have arrived in a cargo shipment through the port of Houston. Scientists are not sure exactly where the ants came from, but their cousins, commonly called crazy ants, are found in the Southeast and the Caribbean.

Looks like someone let the crazy ant out of the attic, so to speak. Seriously, invasive species are becoming a real problem in this country. These ants are resistant to over the counter ant poisons and are very difficult to get rid of. They have also been spotted near the Johnson Space Center. It would be a rather bad thing if they invaded that particular place. Houston, we have a problem, indeed.

The New Volkswagen: Now With Two Trunks!

A British man and his sister got to test drive the new Volkswagen Golf - the one with two trunks. The regular one and the one the elephant added later.

Road rage is bad enough. But what worried the driver of this car was that he was about to become a victim of rogue rage.

When a six-ton elephant suddenly lumbered over to the Volkswagen Golf in a South African safari park, Rico Beltrame and his sister Angela feared it was going to reduce the vehicle to scrap metal - with them inside.

The pictures say it all. Personally, we here at the Crabitat outfit ourselves a little differently when going on safari. Oh, sure, the mileage could be better, but we certainly feel much safer.

Coyote Attacks On Humans

The Associated Press notes that there are rising numbers of reports of coyotes attacking humans in Southern California.

LOS ANGELES - The coyote was limping as it approached a girl in a sand box at a public park — but it was still dangerous. It snapped its jaws on the girl's buttocks and her nanny had to pry the toddler from the wild animal.
 
Less than a week later, a coyote in a mountain resort town some 35 miles away grabbed a girl by the head and tried to drag her from a front yard until her mother scared it away.

A spate of coyote attacks in the fast-growing suburbs east of Los Angeles have left parents on edge and puzzled wildlife officials.

"Their aggressive behavior seems to be on the upswing," said Steve Martarano, a spokesman with the state Department of Fish and Game. "They just seem to lose their fear of humans."

Coyotes normally avoid contact with humans and hunt rabbits and rodents. But scientists said some that live near suburban developments are becoming bolder, raiding garbage or even attacking pets and humans.

An increase in coyote attacks on humans in the past decade is most evident in Southern California, where bedroom communities have quickly pressed into wilderness, allowing the canine scavengers to roam backyards for food.

In recent years, coyote populations all across the country have been on the rise. This is not a good sign - when these animals begin losing fear of humans, it is only a short step to seeing humans as just another food source. We have a very large coyote pack running in the area I live in. Most nights you can hear them howling as they chase something. We have taken to watching the pets when they have to go out after dark, as a matter of fact.