Category Archives: Animals

It’s What’s For Dinner

Posted on November 19, 2009 by Gaius

Australia inaugurates a new crocodile feeding program: A pair of bikini-clad women have been pictured risking life and limb dancing on top of a trap in a crocodile infested river. Clutching champagne bottles, the girls were snapped singing and cavorting … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals | 5 Comments

A View From A Webcam

Posted on September 12, 2009 by Gaius

Smart politicians are right now looking at the images from the huge protest rally in Washington, DC today and calculating their odds of voting for ObamaCare and surviving the next election. The odds are not really good. In fact, the view … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Obamantics, Politics | 3 Comments

The Giant Rat Of Sumatra Papua New Guinea

Posted on September 7, 2009 by Gaius

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle never did write The Tale of the Giant Rat of Sumatra. He did mention it in one of his Sherlock Holmes stories, but there was never an explanation as to why the tale had never been … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals | 3 Comments

Going Green

Posted on September 3, 2009 by Gaius

Pepsi Green is out. But you might not want a can. The “disgusting” blob in Fred DeNegri’s Diet Pepsi can was probably a frog or toad, the Food and Drug Administration said. DeNegri was grilling in his backyard tiki bar … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Humor | 3 Comments

All Your Luggage Are Belong Us

Posted on July 20, 2009 by Gaius

The Animal Uprising™ takes a new turn – and that lovely summer dress your wife just bought. A group of tearaway baboons are wreaking havoc on a safari park after learning to crack open rooftop luggage boxes and escaping with … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals | 2 Comments

It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad House

Posted on July 18, 2009 by Gaius

Mark Steyn: …On Friday, the House passed the Restore Our American Mustangs Act – or ROAM. Like all acronymically cute legislation, its name bears little relation to what it actually does: It’s not about “restoring” mustangs. The federal Bureau of … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Appalling, Madness, Politics | 3 Comments

Prey

Posted on July 15, 2009 by Gaius

Or should that be “Pray”. As in, you might really want to pray you have someone nearby with some hefty firepower if a cougar decides you or your children are the blue plate special. Three cougars that appeared to be stalking … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, World news | 8 Comments

Must Guard Master

Posted on July 14, 2009 by Gaius

Sadly, Australia’s surrender to the Animal Uprising™ is complete. They are now deploying super special snipers to guard their penguin masters. Australia has posted snipers to protect endangered penguins in its biggest city, Sydney, after a spate of attacks, officials … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals | 3 Comments

I Put A Spell On You….

Posted on July 12, 2009 by Gaius

Feeling magical? Have the urge to put a hex on someone? Have a notion to make a potion? Fancy making £50,000 ($80,000) a year for casting a few spells? Well, then, there’s a job opportunity that is right up your alley. It … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Humor, World news | 3 Comments

Foxy Pair Of Pumps

Posted on June 24, 2009 by Gaius

Kick off your high heel sneakers, it’s party time. A German fox is reported to have a shoe fetish: A female fox has been identified as the perpetrator of a year-long shoe-stealing scheme in the idyllic town of Föhren in … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Humor | 4 Comments

Seventh Seal

Posted on June 23, 2009 by Gaius

And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour. Book of Revelation 8:1 The Animal Uprising™ returneth: Drivers on Interstate 880 started calling authorities around 5.45 am to report … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Humor | 5 Comments

Stop Right There Or The Sheep Gets It!

Posted on June 22, 2009 by Gaius

The police in the United Kingdom have not exactly covered themselves in glory with their reported use of Tasers: Figures disclosed under the Freedom of Information Act show one officer from Gwent Police shot a Taser barb into his own … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, World news | 3 Comments

Snakes On A Cop

Posted on June 15, 2009 by Gaius

They tried it all. Nothing worked. Even snake charmers couldn’t do it. So the police in Sierra Leone finally turned to the army. And a few water hoses and bursts from AK-47s later, the police station was snake-free. Authorities in … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, World news | 1 Comment

And Still More Pooh

Posted on June 1, 2009 by Gaius

Isn’t technology wonderful? British researchers have discovered a way to use satellites to discover the whereabouts of Antarctica’s emperor penguins. By tracking their poop stains. Satellite images have picked up giant red-brown stains on the pristine white sea ice, indicating … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Junk Science, Left Wing | Comments Off

Peaceable Kingdom

Posted on May 18, 2009 by Gaius

We here at the Crabitat are not entirely sure what is going on here. We are not sure that we really want to know. But, in descending order, we have ill-tempered, dog-hating old cat, wife’s beagle-pug mix (or pugle) and … Continue reading →

Posted in Animals, Because I Felt Like It | 9 Comments