The Magic Of The Theater Explained At Yale

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard managed to get a copy of a memo sent to the drama department by Yale Dean of Student Affairs, Betty Trachtenberg detailing the new administration-mandated disclaimer that must be read before the performance of any play.

To: Yale Drama Department

From: The office of Betty Trachtenberg, Dean of Student Affairs

Subject: Official Disclaimer

The administration of Yale, having seen fit to overturn my decision to ban all prop weapons from student theatrical productions (other than those purple plastic pirate swords I found at Wal-Mart) has asked me instead to provide a disclaimer to be read before the start of each performance of any play. It is direction of the administration that this disclaimer must be read to the audience. It is not mandatory at this time that you then test the audience to see if they understand the disclaimer, but we are working on that requirement.

Disclaimer of Theatrical Plays

It is vitally important to the administration of Yale that all persons attending theatrical productions put on by the drama department understand the following. Please pay attention, this is really important.

The use of prop weapons may be required in this production. A prop weapon is one that looks like a real weapon but is not. For example, a sword used in the production may look quite real, but will have a blunted edge. That is not to say that the prop sword is not still dangerous. It must be treated with great care and responsibility by the actor wielding it. If you see a production which involves the use of a prop sword, it is extremely important that you not abuse the right to watch the play by emulating the actions you see on the stage when you return to your dormitory.

In the case of prop guns, the weapon, if fired, is only shooting a blank. A blank cartridge is one which has a powder charge, but no bullet. In rare cases, a wad, used to hold the powder charge in place may be ejected from the barrel when the weapon is fired. This can cause injury and we discourage this practice. Under no circumstance should an audience member leave the theater thinking that the shooting of blanks is acceptable to the Dean of Student Affairs.

It is extremely important that you realize that if a cast member "dies" during a play that the cast member is not actually dead. The cast member is "acting". Similarly, they are not actually hurt or sick or dying or diseased or happy or sad or anything else during the performance of the play. They are actors and they are acting. Please remember that at all times.

A note about scenery: Despite the enormous efforts of the crew of the theatrical production you are about to see, every place depicted on the stage is actually a "set." Well done sets may make the audience think they are seeing a dungeon or a palace, but the audience must not fall for it. You are actually still in a theater.

Props: If a character in a play supposedly takes a drink from a cup, the cup does not actually contain any liquid. This is particularly true if the cup is supposed to contain alcohol. We here at Yale forbid the consumption of alcohol by actors on stage. So, again, don't be fooled by this.

A final note on the characters in the play. The actors in the theatrical production you are about to see are portraying characters in a play. They are not actually the people they are pretending to be. Please do not be confused by this. This is why you can see an actor in one play act the part of a good person and see another play in which the same actor portrays a bad person. This is possible because the actor isn't actually the character. And they are not really saying all those words spontaneously, either. They are actually reciting a memorized script written by somebody else. Isn't it fun how that works?

Now, relax and enjoy your magical theatrical experience.

It’s Official! Yale Has Gone Loco.

In what is probably the silliest, most infantile response to serious events that I have heard of recently, Yale's Dean of Student Affairs, Betty Trachtenberg, has responded to the killings at Virginia Tech by banning stage weapons - props - from student theatrical productions.

No, really. She did.

 In the wake of Monday’s massacre at Virginia Tech in which a student killed 32 people, Dean of Student Affairs Betty Trachtenberg has limited the use of stage weapons in theatrical productions.

Students involved in this weekend’s production of “Red Noses” said they first learned of the new rules on Thursday morning, the same day the show was slated to open. They were subsequently forced to alter many of the scenes by swapping more realistic-looking stage swords for wooden ones, a change that many students said was neither a necessary nor a useful response to the tragedy at Virginia Tech.

According to students involved in the production, Trachtenberg has banned the use of some stage weapons in all of the University’s theatrical productions. While shows will be permitted to use obviously fake plastic weapons, students said, those that hoped to stage more realistic scenes of stage violence have had to make changes to their props.

Mind you, it is perfectly acceptable to stage a hanging in a play, according to students quoted in the article. But nothing resembling a real weapon. We recommend the drama students immediately begin using celery, carrots and zucchini in place of the swords. They should call the new prop weapons by an appropriate title before each performance: Trachtenberg night specials.

Remember, when cukes are outlawed, only criminals will have cukes.

My heavens, I've had to reactivate the old "Yale Follies" category.

Mind you, it is perfectly acceptable to stage a hanging in a play, according to students quoted in the article. But nothing resembling a real weapon. We recommend the drama students immediately begin using celery, carrots and zucchini in place of the swords. They should call the new prop weapons by an appropriate title before each performance: Trachtenberg night specials.

Remember, when cukes are outlawed, only outlaws - and Yalies - will have cukes.

My heavens, I've had to reactivate the old "Yale Follies" category.

Boola Boola Banned

Yale has refused admission to a degree program for the former Taliban official, Sayed Rahmatullah Hashemi. The New York Times reports:

The student, Sayed Rahmatullah Hashemi, apparently can continue to take courses at the university as an untraditional student in a non-degree program, as he did during the past academic year, said Tatiana Maxwell, the president of the International Education Foundation, which was created to raise money to send Mr. Hashemi to Yale.

It was uncertain yesterday whether Mr. Hashemi, who is 27, will do so; he is in Pakistan visiting his family and could not be reached for comment.

Mr. Hashemi became the focus of a contentious political and cultural debate this spring, after an article about his experience at Yale appeared in The New York Times Magazine on Feb. 26.

Yale was sharply criticized by conservatives in opinion articles in The Wall Street Journal and in other newspapers and magazines, as well as on cable news shows and blogs, for opening its classrooms to a former representative of the Taliban, who harbored Al Qaeda and are trying to destabilize the government of Afghanistan.

At the same time, a number of Yale students and professors supported Mr. Hashemi's presence at the university. They argued that he would benefit from a Yale education and from the culture of tolerance and open inquiry that prevails at a university in the West; they also said they would benefit from having him at Yale.

Yale officials declined to comment yesterday on the decision on Mr. Hashemi's application.

They indicated in a prepared statement, however, that admission into the degree-granting program for untraditional students had been made much more rigorous this year, more closely mirroring the difficulty of gaining regular admission into Yale's undergraduate college.

Mr. Hashemi was admitted a year ago to the nondegree program, which allows nontraditional students to take courses at the university part time.

Ms. Maxwell said Mr. Hashemi had informed her in the last few days that he had been denied admission into the degree track, which is known as the Eli Whitney Program.

"Rahmatullah found out that he was not accepted," Mrs. Maxwell said, "but we believe that he is still allowed to continue in the nondegree program."

Mrs. Maxwell said she did not know whether Mr. Hashemi wanted to remain at Yale after the outcry over his presence there last spring and after being rejected for the Eli Whitney Program.

Clint Taylor, one of the founders of the Nail Yale blog was interviewed for the story.

But some critics of Mr. Hashemi's presence at Yale applauded the decision. Clint Taylor is one of four alumni who created a blog, Nail Yale, that questioned why someone who was part of a regime they described as a "terrorist-abetting tyranny" was allowed to attend one of the nation's most selective universities.

"They involved themselves in politics when they admitted Hashemi, and now they are trying to find their way out of it," Mr. Taylor said, adding, "I can't say I'm very surprised."

He said he was aware that the Yale administration had spoken of tightening up the admissions regulations for the Eli Whitney Program. "I don't think anyone thought it was unconnected to the controversy over Hashemi," he said.

Actually this is probably completely typical of the way a university gets out of a situation they caused themselves.

H/T Allah.

No Cole In Yale’s Stocking

Powerline reports that Juan Cole won't be going to Yale. He was soundly voted down by the Senior Appointments Committee. One can't help but wonder if his virtual meltdown over Christopher Hitchens column a while back didn't help decide the matter.

Nail Yale does not have a confirmation of this yet. In fact, Clint has the opposite rumor up from several days ago. Clint's also got some new stuff about Hashemi.

FLASH! Exclusive To Blue Crab Boulevard!

Blue Crab Boulevard has learned that Sayed Rahmatullah Hashemi has sent a special thank you gift to Tatiana Maxwell, the president of the International Education Foundation. The foundation was created to raise money to send Mr. Hashemi to college. Mr Hashemi has thoughtfully provided a lovely addition to Ms. Maxwell's wardrobe. We're please to bring you an exclusive photograph obtained by the Magic 8-Ball Photography Service and Fish Market. These guys are everywhere.

Mr. Taylor Gets A Letter

Clint Taylor over at Nail Yale got a very interesting letter. From the President of Yale himself. Polite yet non-committal, it still seems a very hopeful sign.

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Taylor:

I have your letter and enclosures about Rahmatullah Hashemi, incorporating your own points, your messages from the blog you maintain, and your reminder that this situation "deserves [my] serious consideration".  Please be assured that it has my serious attention, that all of your points have been and are being considered, and that I have read and thought about what you enclose.

Sincerely yours,

Richard C. Levin

Crossing fingers would be good.

That WILL Leave A Mark

I have a commenter or two about the place who, quite earnestly, defend Juan Cole as being a superbly accurate source of information. I frankly have checked a few things he's written and found each and every one of them to be wrong, but no matter. Suffice it to say that if you get your nuclear physics from Juan, you won't be passing any real world exams anytime soon. You might be all set for Star Fleet Academy, but you'd need to consult a Trekkie.

Nonetheless, Yale considers him quite a catch it would seem and is wooing him (they may have made a job offer by now, I'm frankly not interested in the man enough to follow his every move.) Perhaps the people who decide such things for Yale should read this little gem by Christopher Hitchens prior to making any decision. If they haven't made the decision already, of course.

I think I would rather not be on the receiving end of one of Mr. Hitchens' little essays. He's absolutely brutal. His closing words are classic.

One might have thought that, if the map-wiping charge were to have been inaccurate or unfair, Ahmadinejad would have denied it. But he presumably knew what he had said and had meant to say. In any case, he has an apologist to do what he does not choose to do for himself. But this apologist, who affects such expertise in Persian, cannot decipher the plain meaning of a celebrated statement and is, furthermore, in need of a remedial course in English.

You really need to read the whole thing.

Speaking of leaving a mark, Tigerhawk is brutal.

UPDATE: Michael Young is even harder on Cole. This one is devastating. Cole stepped in it this time.

UPDATE: Cole's defense didn't impress Andrew Sullivan, either. Cole's unhinged ad hominem attack is shown for what it is.

Yale Update

Clint Taylor over at Nail Yale reports what may be a good sign that Hashemi will not be admitted as a regular student at Yale. It's still very non-committal, but is at least a sign that something is up.

I've been laying low on photoshopping Yale-related items since Levin announced the policy, but I may yet start them up again….

Yale Update

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard have been pretty persistent in our criticism of Yale's decision to admit a former Taliban official as a student. John Fund reports today that the redefinition of the rules for the programs that admit non-traditional students may signal that Yale is going to dump Mr. Hashemi.

Please let this be so.

Fund also takes note of the potential hiring of Juan Cole. Let's just say Mr. Fund isn't a big fan and recommends Yale not do that, either. Oh well, hiring Cole would simply give us more opportunity to attempt to make Yale into a laughingstock.

We're just saying.

Sometimes It’s Better To Wait A Bit

Rather than going off half-cocked. Last night I read an article in the New York Post that reported a strong rumor that Yale was considering hiring Juan Cole for a tenured position. I immediately started typing a fairly incredulous post, thought better of it and, instead, dashed off an email to my Yale contact. I wanted him to post a tirade.

The answer I got was,"No". With a lot of good reasons why it wasn't a good idea.

He was absolutely right, too.

Today, someone with a little bit more stature in the Yale community took care of the issue. Chances are, Yale will be more likely to listen to Michael Rubin '94 GRD '99 than to we here at Blue Crab Boulevard who haven't exactly been kind to Yale lately.

Let's just put it this way, the times I have looked at Juan Cole's articles, he has been wrong. Every. Single. Time. The latest was an article where asserted, in a very authoritative tone, that Iran could not use recycled fuel from a civilian light water reactor to create a plutonium bomb. He said it had to do with isotope concentration. Which kind of neglected to mention that the US had designed, built and detonated a plutonium bomb made from recycled fuel. Because the way you elect to control the reactor determines isotope concentration.

Ah well, thanks for doing the heavy lifting, Mr. Rubin.

Something Happening At Yale?

Clint Taylor thinks the announcement made by Richard Levin may be very important. Let's hope it's important for the right reasons.

Yale Stonewall Crumbling?

John Fund in today's Opinion Journal reports that a growing number of people in the Yale community are finally beginning to speak out against Mr. Hashemi's acceptance at Yale. That's good news, I think. He also details the story of a Harvard graduate who may be "the one that got away" that former Yale admissions dean Richard Shaw mentioned. There is no similarity between Mr. Hashemi and Harvard graduate Masood Farivar other than that they are from the same country.

One thing that particularly struck me in Fund's article is the open admission by some people that they were deterred from speaking out because of politics. Because some right-wing people spoke out about this issue, they refused to believe it for a long time.

Mr. Oppenheimer attributes his prior reluctance to realize Yale had erred to "basic human stubbornness" and says he finds it "awfully upsetting to agree with jokers like Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly," both of whom have discussed the Yale story on Fox News Channel. "The harder they flogged this issue, the more I became convinced that they had to be wrong. I just feel better across the fence from them. . . . I think it's utterly fair to blame the right wing for making me so desperate to dissemble."

I would disagree with Mr. Oppenheimer. It is not fair to blame someone else's politics as the cause of a failure of one's moral compass. I am glad he's been able to get past the politics, though.

In light of this quote from Mr. Farivar:

For his part, Mr. Farivar says he feels pity for Mr. Hashemi. "He strikes me as either a terribly misguided person or a charlatan and con artist," he told me. "What else can explain his almost overnight conversion to moderation? If he's truly changed his stripes, and the world has one fewer extremist, we'll all be better off. But I'm skeptical."

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard feel it appropriate to repost a picture:

Have a nice day!

Yale Coeds Circa 2029

Magic 8-Ball photography comes through, yet again.

(All joking aside, this is a picture of women having to hide the fact that they are getting an education. Because the Taliban, who Mr. Hashemi was a spokesman for, didn't allow women to get educations. So why is it that none of the feminists at Yale are screaming their heads off about a former representative of the Taliban walking among them? This is what he represented.)

A New Career!

(New Haven) After years as a spokesman for the brutal Taliban regime in Afghanistan, Sayed Rahmatullah Hashemi successfully talked his way into Yale even though he had only a fourth grade education. Despite his efforts as front man for the murderous, oppressive and theocratic Taliban, he was able to convince the admissions office that he had been an unwilling victim of a takeover of the group by extremist elements. Now Mr. Hashemi has finally discovered his true calling in life as an author. Here he is with his very first self help book. "If I can help even a few more people with my background and training to get into Yale, it will all be worth it," says Mr. Hashemi.

The Yale Follies Update

More new stuff up over at Nail Yale. They have sightings of some sanity in letters to the editors, etc.

But just so we don't forget what we're dealing with. 

Here's a picture of Mr. Hashemi holding up the "evidence" the Taliban were using to persecute some Christian aid workers they were threatening to kill. As soon as they gave them a fair conviction of course.

Taliban official Rehmatullah Hashmi, an official from the Taliban's foreign ministry, shows a book conficsated from the International Assistance Mission, IAM. Eight foreign aid workers have been arrested and are on trial on charges of preaching Christianity.

Photo: BK Bangash, AP